Round is a Shape

Promise this won't be a regular thing, but here's something I wrote right after getting back from my run tonight.  This means I'm about to get into shape.  Hopefully.

That’s the smell of victory

Of defeat

The sensation after a hard fought battle

Forsworn before its time is up

That’s the second rate

Working as hard as they possibly can

For the best

To take down the giant

When he’s weak

That’s you and me neck and neck

Pounding out miles

Pavement left only in our tracks

For trails

Of dirt

Mud

Leaves

Snow

Stuck

To the backs

Of our legs

Doubled over

From the effort

And getting back

Up

For rep two of twelve

That’s running

We’re runners

Stupid people with something to prove

Not to you or our friends

But to ourselves

That we’re better than we know

And there’s always something left

When it’s all on the line

Till next time, get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.

One more round

With the completion of my test this afternoon, I'm done with my last round of exams before finals for my second to last semester as an undergrad student at USI.  Now baring a complete collapse, I'm set to graduate with a degree in Biology and a minor in Psychology in the spring.  (Hopefully I can get that minor finished before I walk.)  I just need to get my shit together and get into med school now and get back on the roads and pound some major pavement.  I think that's what's missing in my life.  Running.

I'm just too damn lazy to get off my ass most of the time to run.  Sure I'm busy, but I could make some time for running too.  It's not that time consuming.  I feel if it would warm up, I'd be balls to the walls running all the time.  Also, I need to ride.  I just need to be more active than I have been lately.  Maybe I'll run in the morning (not likely) or tomorrow after class (more likely but still not likely).

Oh yea, Obama just won last night.  We'll all survive.  Not a huge deal.  Hopefully there's still room for me in the pool of physicians when I graduate.  Or maybe not.  Either way.

I passed on a very huge opportunity today that I'm regretting.  Have been all day.  I've promised (it's on Twitter so it's official) to never ever pass up anything that great again.  If I live up to that, I should be pretty well off for the rest of my life.  Damnit I'm a shit for not taking advantage of that...

Well, I'm pretty dry on ideas to write about tonight.  Just wanted something to do.

Till next time, get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.

Morose

Just realized how depressing all my posts are.  Guess I write when I'm sad.  I'm gonna try not to make them all like that.

Here's to happier days.

Stepping Back

I'm not sure where to start this post or if it'll even get published but here goes...

So much has happened lately (in the past day, week, and even month) that I feel like my life could have turned on its head if I hadn't been careful.  I'm still doing fine and on the track I want to be, but sometimes it feels like everything on the fringes of my life is falling apart.  I know I have no reason to worry because my support system (my family mostly) is the greatest ever and support me in everything and anything that happens.  I just wonder what would happen if something would happen to my "inner circle" and things along my life path would start falling apart.

I think a better way to put it might be that life is a race and everyone around me is my support and people I'm associated with.  It seems like these people have either been dropping out of the race or stopping to take care of other business that's more important.  My field has thinned lately.

Now that that's all in order, my life is not.  The only thing I know that's going to be happening any time soon is that I have to go to class tomorrow and work tomorrow night.  Other than that, the world is an open field and I can run any way I possibly want to (to an extent).  Sure I want to run toward med school, but what if i decide to take a left turn, drop out of school (or at least finish my degree since I'm so close), and just work the rest of my life.  Would I get the same support that I've got now?

I feel like, at this point in my life, that I should at least have some of my stuff figured out.  People in my class are married and/or pregnant and settling down.  I feel like Ted Mosby saying this, but that's what I want.  I want to be settled and not running around like a chicken with its head cut off.  I don't want to be in school for 7 more years after this.  I'd be completely content marrying and being a stay-at-home dad.  Dream life right there.

Life is fleeting.  It's never what you expect and is something else before you know it.  My advice: throw your cares, plans, and caution to the wind and see where you're supposed to go.  Who knows where you'll end up, just try to be happy where ever that is.

Till next time, get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.

We Are Young

For now.  A very short time in our lives.

We really don't have much time to be young and I didn't do a very good job of it in my early youth.  I'd like to make up for it now but I've got too much stuff going on now that is leading me to the rest of my life.  I just started asking myself if it's actually all worth it again.  I'm going to be in school for another nine years or so.  Do I really want to be a doctor that bad?

Short answer- Yes.

Long answer- It's what I've always wanted to do and I honestly can't see myself doing anything else practical with my life.  I can't go into business or sales and I don't want to be an underling the rest of my life.  I've got to have some authority in my job or I'll go nuts taking orders and doing things the way the corporation says I'm supposed to do them.  The only other thing I could do is be a "stay at home dad" figure, but that requires a wife that can carry the family financially.  Not the way I really want to go.  But I guess I could live with it.

Main problem with the "stay at home dad" deal is that I don't have a "Mom" to compliment my "Dad."  Sure there's possibilities but I haven't seriously gotten to know anyone on a deep level in a while.  I know it's not true but I feel like I've fallen out of the game.  Dumb.  I know.  Just wish I had that one person who isn't blood related who I could just turn to in any situation and she'd accept me for me, regardless of what it was that was on my mind.  I can see myself settling down soon.  Only thing stopping me is a lack of another party willing to take me up on my offer.  Wish she felt the same way I do...

Enough complaining.

Never mind.  Just a little more.  I'm injured again.  Stupid knee won't leave me alone.  Seems like the same problem that I had last year except this time, I've got my orthodics and they aren't in someone else's closet.  Guess we'll see if they can figure it out this time on Monday when I go to the trainer.

I haven't written in here in a while.  I was having some pretty vivid dreams for a while, so I started a dream journal.  That's where I was writing for a while.  Dreams stopped.  So did the writing.  Not sure this is going to be a regular thing.  I like putting ideas down, but writer's block gets the best of me most of the time.  This summer I'll be writing my novel for sure.  Haven't done that in a LONG time.

Till next time, get lots of rest and drink plenty of fluids.